ya really gotta wonder what the hell we're all doing.
oh, i know what i'm doing, at least right now: filling in my time with something that is, i hope, not boring, or hurtful, or toxic, or stupid.
like so much of what is out there.
what can one do? i mean, besides joining all the organizations that are devoting themselves to really improving the world and all the lives of as many people as possible? after that, what?
hum it all away? just like those funny ladies in the fifties who were so determined not to notice what a pile of shit they'd been sold in their 'happy' marriages, where all the husbands got to demand whatever they wanted, and screw around all they wanted too, and all the women had to do was pretend they didn't see; or pretend they didn't want any other life but picking up dirty clothes and cooking.
in fact, i would pay a lot of money right now, today, if i could find one of those women to clean up the mess at my place, which is somewhat overwhelming, but that's just because i was working at a job all this week which required my traveling to another location and being there for the whole day. i'm not used to that. i'm self-employed usually, which means you can work in your jammies, if you want, and you can figure out the answers to the creative problems you encounter while you do the dishes. sometimes the most amazing ideas come to you in a pot of porridge.
i'm a firm believer in the creativity that exists in chaos. maybe it's because i was one of eight children. maybe it's just because that's how the whole world seems to operate. maybe creativity is chaos. but oh, it's so chaotic. sometimes one longs for one thing and one think only.
no, it's not a typo.
although i am. a type 'o'. also negative. so i guess i'm just going with the flow when i see red.
it's in my blood.