sun spots

I am doomed.

Thus I thought as I sat in my very own back garden today, as the sun shone and warmed my legs. first time on the chair out there, and although i did do a lot of yard work beforehand, still, it's a dangerous precedent. the sitting, i mean. because once you're out there, it's to hell with all the obligations, isn't it?

here i am, a singer/songwriter. i've got so many jobs i have to do to keep up the gigs, the writing, the promoting; and that's only for the regular stuff. but i've also got the show this year - my zootcase project, and with that, i have created an enormous job for myself, especially since help is so hard to come by. (nobody cooks the dinner, or washes the dishes, and god knows, the sheets need laundering once in a while).

no, can't afford the household help, but i was actually talking about musical help - people out there who might want to support an independent musician in this, in any, endeavour. now, i do have friends. and many of them have stepped up to the 'giving' plate by purchasing my upcoming cd in advance. that helps finance the manufacture. so thank you to them.

but there are organizations, like the arts councils; can't seem to break into that little clique (you have to hire someone who knows their way around the application and requirements). then there's the local radio station that says it wants to "support jazz performers in Canada", but sadly, they do not support me - neither by playing any of my songs, nor by helping with this show ('you can rent our space for over $1,000.'). well, if i was a corporation, maybe, but i'm just a music performer, singer, etc. maybe they don't 'help' me because i haven't got the big machine behind me; i'm not performing with the biggest names. i'm not a big name either.

no, i'm just a simple independent music lover; i play with people who are fantastic musicians, but also people i like.

so i'll probably end up financing this work of love by myself, and that's ok, since it originated with love, and is still a love story. love makes the songs go 'round, i reckon.

so as the sun goes around and gets warmer and brighter, i'll just enjoy all the decadence of just sitting, and the music that keeps going around too, my friends, and the wee shoots that are coming up in the garden, and whatever i get done on my own. god bless' the child that's got its own.